


Crack Text fic that no one needs except me

by Taiga_Kageyama



Category: haikyuu
Genre: C R A C K, Head cannon tsukishima and kags would be bffs, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hurt Kageyama Tobio, I hate life, Kageyama has a lot of siblings head cannon, Kags is actually the nicest person out there, Middle school kageyama tobio, More tags to be added, Multi, Not Iwa chan tho, Oikawa loves everyone as his children, POV Kageyama Tobio, Smart Kageyama Tobio, Suga is a wine aunt - Freeform, This is a crack fic what am i doing with my life, Tsukishima and kageyama Tobio should be friends, Tsukishima is soft for kags, Ukai is a dad period, You Should Have Come to Shiratorizawa, all of the characters - Freeform, back in the past, literally all of them - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28109823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taiga_Kageyama/pseuds/Taiga_Kageyama
Summary: C r a c kAlso:Kageyama is very very v e r y depressed cause he can do that he ends up in a volleyball gc for gays?? Even tho he's asexual meh whatever
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kageyama Tobio & Everyone, Kageyama Tobio & Original Character(s), Kageyama Tobio/ Depression, Kageyama Tobio/Original Character(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	1. Why??

**Author's Note:**

> Omg this is so bad lmao i wrote this at like 2 in the morning my brain wasn't working come at me

Like always Tobio woke up to feeling useless. “I should just get ready,” He sighs. He has made it to school, “KAGEYAMA!!!!” Shouyo says with a high voice “What?” Hinata gasps “YOU DIDN'T YELL AT ME!” Tobio had forgotten that he needed to put on his acted of being mean but he didn’t care anymore he just wanted to fall in a hole and die. “Kageyama-San what’s wrong?” Koushi Sugawara asked, “I wanna die” that’s what Kageyama WOULD say if he was crazy but he had SOME brain cells left. “Nothing just didn't get much sleep last night” Kageyama replied nonchalantly “hmm, okay let me know if you need anything” Suga said sweetly, Kageyama put in his headphones listening to these three songs: WAP Three Musketeers and S&M (yes this is author chan's taste in “happy” music). Okay practice wasn't that interesting besides Takeda Sensei falling on his face that's all that was really “different” (it was actually very common) Kageyama went to the Karasuno gc,

Karasuno FIGHT

Hina: Hey guys wanna have a sleepover???

Suga: Oh yeah, who's house is the biggest??

Tanaka: Mine isn't that big sry

Noya: Same sorry guys 

Kags: We could use mine it's a mansion and my parents won't be there only my triplet sister and brother Taiga and Aiko, my two older sisters Nagisa and Miwa, and my younger bro Nao. 

Dai: That's a lot of siblings 😦

Kags: Yeah but they're always in their room except for Aiko and Taiga they always try and bother me 😒 

Tanaka: What are their ages???

Kags: Well you know Taiga and Aiko but Nao is 10 Nagisa is 18 and Miwa is 24.5 

Hina: So Miwa is in college???

kags: Yea

Suga: Okay that solves it the others can read back and stuff. Bye!!

Kags: Bye 👋 

Hina: See ya 

Dai: Goodbye 

Tanaka: peace ✌️ 

Noya: Later 🖕

Everyone is offline  
So right now Kags feels like he has made a big mistake but that'll be relevant in the next chapter ;)

Author Chan here and honestly I have no idea how this story is gonna go but whatever 😽 I need to send this to myself ✌️


	2. Blueberry's what?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blueberry (Kags) adds someone to the chat! Who tho?

Karasuno Gc 

Hina: That sleepover was fun af 😋

Suga: Yeah it was 

Tanaka: Damn Kags that was a big house-

Kags: I told y'all 😌

Tsukki: The king has a big house? Ah makes sense, he is the king after all. 

Kags: Can you like stop with the pRoPer punctuation? pronunciation- whatever it is

Yams: Tsukki don't be so goddamn mean 😤

Dai: Now now don't get ahead of yourselfs 

Noya: WE SHOULD CHANGE NAMES!

Kino: To make it harder on author chan? YES

Narita: Stop breaking the 4th wall 

Kino: Oops 🙊 

Tanaka change their name to: #1 Ennoshita simp

Noya changed their name to: #1 Asahi simp 🤬

Hina changed their name to: Biotch better have my money 😩

Suga changed their name to: I'm the wine aunt prove me wrong 😑 

Dai changed their name to: Dead, dead as hell

Kags changed their name to: HE NEED SOME MILK🤩

Kino changed their name to: Baby i'm not even here i'm a hallucination 😙

Ennoshita changed their name to: parental unit #1 

Narita changed their name to: Rip off Tanaka😙

Yams changed their name to: B- is u blind?🤪

b- is u blind 🤪 changed tsukki's name to: Strawberry shortcake 🍰 

#1 Asahi simp changed Asahi's name to: Ripoff jesus

HE NEED SOME MILK 🤩: Okay so how bout we say our pronouns and sexuality if ur comfortable just cause we're a team-

Strawberry shortcake 🍰: Wow the king coming up with a smart idea? Surprising.

HE NEED SOME MILK 🤩: Shut up 🤪🖕

Biotch better have my money 🤪: My pronouns are he/him and i'm gay gay as fuck 😚

HE NEED SOME MILK 🤩: I'll go next 😌

Strawberry shortcake 🍰: The king is probably the same as his partner 🙄

HE NEED SOME MILK 🤩: My pronouns are they/them and i'm asexual-

#1 Ennoshita simp: DAMN TSUKKI YOU JUST MIS-GENDERED THEM.

Strawberry shortcake 🍰: I-

Strawberry shortcake 🍰 is offline 

Blah blah everyone does it if i don't mention them their gay and a boy 

Suga: Pansexual he/they

Yams: Pansexual they/them 

Noya: Bisexual she/her

HE NEED SOME MILK 🤩: Can i add someone to the gc?

I'm the wine aunt prove me wrong 😑: Sure ka- oh wait do you have a special new name? 

HE NEED SOME MILK 🤩: Yeah it's blueberry the person i'm about to add came up with it 😏

I'm the wine aunt prove me wrong 😑: Oh cool add them!

HE NEED SOME MILK 🤩 added Sky ✨🖕

Sky✨🖕: What is this? and who are y'all?

HE NEED SOME MILK 🤩: It's blueberry- Sky 😏😏

Sky✨🖕: Oh this so the Karasuno gc-

I'm the wine aunt prove me wrong 😑: Yeah!

Sky:✨🖕: Hi i'm blueberry's-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah! i actually got some kudos last time haha i'm still new to writing and i made kags non binary at the last minute- and i also regret adding the names 😩💀🖤


	3. River is w h a t to blue (kags)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love this so much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's like 5:00 AM help me 😅😊😎🙁🙁😟🙃🙃🥳🥸😗🥰😟😗😔🧐😛🙂

Karasuno gc

Sky: I'm blueberry's Best friend! 🌝

Suga: I- Blueberry has other friends?

Hina: BLUEBERRY HOW COULD YOU 😔😭

Hina: heart❤️ been broke💔🤕 so many times⏰ i don’t know❌🤷♀️ what to believe 🍃🙏 yeah👍 mama🤰say it’s my👧😣fault🥺😢 my fault😭😞 i wear my heart💝 on my sleeve👕

Blueberry: Bye 💀 Sho you know you'll be my #1 😔😌✨

Hina: Dats what i thought 😾

Blueberry: Ok n e ways back-read sky 😀🤚

Sky: K bebe 😻

Tsukki: What in the fuckery 👁👄👁

Yams: Shut the fuck up 

Sky: Okay chile anyways so My sexuality is aromantic and asexual and my pronouns are bun/them 

Suga: When their pronouns are cute: 😻😽😭🦋✨

Daichi: We should add more people 😈

Asahi: Daichi being chaotic i see? 

Daichi: HELL YEAH 

Hina: I got this 🌚 

Hina added Bokuto Akashi Oikawa Iwazumi kenma kuroo kindaichi kunimi yahaba shirabu semi tendou ushijima atsumu osamu suna and sakusa 

Kenma: What in the fucks name? 

Hina: HI KENMA 

Kenma: Hi shouyo 

Bokuto: HINATA!! 

Blueberry: I- Hi Sleepy and Turnip ✌️

Oikawa: MEAN TOBIO-CHAN NOT GONNA SAY HI TO UR FAVORITE SENPAI??? 😭😭😭

Blueberry: My favorite senpai isn't even here (No offense i like all of you) 

Suga: At least you like us 🥲

Blueberry: Okay pronouns and sexuality! 

Atsumu: He/they asexual 

Blueberry: OMG BASICALLY TWINS 

Sakusa: She/they/him demisexual 

Akaashi: She/her pansexual 

Oikawa: He/them Pansexual ✨✨

Iwa: He/him bisexual 

Kunimi: They/them aromantic 

Kindaichi: They/voi asexual 

Kenma: He/they asexual 

Sky: OKAY I NEED TO CHANGE SOME OF YALLS NAMES 😔

Sky changed Kunimis name to Sleepy   
Sky changed Kindaichis name to Turnip 

Sky: There 😽✌️

Sleepy: Thanks sky 😺

Turnip: Yeah thanks 

Sleepy: OMG WE SHOULD ADD RIVER 

Turnip: YES THEY N E E D TO BE HERE 

Blueberry: Absolutely n o t 

Sky: YES 😈

Sky added River to the chat 

Sky: Hey River I think you kno who i am same with Sleepy Turnip and ✨😻Blueberry😻✨

Sakusa: I haven't a clue what's going on here but i'll act like to do 😀

River: Nice to meet you all night i'm River my pronouns are they/them and i'm asexual 😀

Kenma: Hi again River 🙂

Oikawa: RIVER!!! 🥰🤩😇😛😇😞🤩😖😋☹️😚😢😖🧐🥰🧐😣🙂😢😣😌☹️🙃

Suga: Hey River! 

Hina: So blue you gonna introduce us to this River person? 

Blueberry: Uh River is my love partner ig??? 

Tanaka: OMG 

Noya: OMG 

Tanaka: We found something 🥰

Blueberry: What?-


	4. Poor sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly Sky is my favorite and no one hurt them 😌

Tanaka: We found something 😻

Noya: Let's send it 🤌

Blue: Whatever ur going to send don't send 😾🤚

Tanaka: Okay send it Noya 😽 

Noya: You got it 😸

Blue: Tanaka why would you tell noya she legit spills everything 

Tanaka: That was the point 

River: What's this 👀

Sky: Tee hee 👁👅👁

Sleepy: I'm going to sleep bye 👋 

Turnip: Same it's 3:00 AM 

Kenma: I'm staying what did you find? 👀

Oikawa: Same Iwa-Chan is sleep tho 😪

Suga: JUST SEND IT 

Noya: OKAY DAMN 😰

Noya sent one attachment

Noya: 

River: I 

Blue: HOW DID YOU GET THAT 😭

Oikawa: Blueberry-chan~ 🥵

River: Back 🤺 off🤺 their🤺 mine🤺

Tanka: Protective much 😀

River: Shut up 

Kenma: Do you have anymore pictures? 

Noya: Yea 

Kenma: S e n d 😀

Noya: O k😾

Noya sent 4 attachments 

Noya: 

Oikawa: And suddenly i'm a simp 

Karoo: Same 😀🤚

Hina: Honestly he's my best friend so i think i should date him 🙄🤚

River: WhT am i chopped liver 😭

Blue: N e ways

Author chan: Guys i feel like we should expose tiktoks 😸

Blue: Sure 😺

Author chan: Yay 😁 

Author chan: Yachi do the honors 

Yachi forced herself into the gc 

Yachi: K 

yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJEoQHoG/

Bokuto: I bro that's so cool 😀

Kuroo: Thanks bro 😎 

Yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJEomkfh/

Blue: I look good so idc 

River: KDIDNFIDJTKSNRJEJ 😃🤌

Tanka: I 

Yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJEo3mXE/

Yacht: Bff goals 

River: ...

Hina: Protective much 🙄

Yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJo1kdYg/

River: There is so much happening 

Tsuki: I didn't even say anything 

Yams: Same 😭

Yacht: Exactly 

Yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJo1Fpme/

River: ...

Blue: Had to protect him from all those pervs 😾🤚

Hina: I'm still low key mad 🧍♀️

Kenma: Should've let him finish the dance 💃 

Yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJo1LEGr/

Yacht: Honestly this is a powerful friendship 

River: .... 🙃

Blue: Daddy chill 😪

River: KFKDNFORK 💀

Yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJo1FKPX/

Blue: GET IT YAMS 😩🤌

Oikawa: Yessss 

Yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJo1LxN1/

Blue: This is why suga is my mom 😃

Dai: I 

Suga: I'm so cute ☺️ 

Kawa: You areeee 

Atsumu: Ughh i aspire to be like that one day 😩

Saku: Ur perfect the way you are... 😒

Atsumu: AWW

Atsumu: ILY OMI OMI

Yacht: Y'all are so cute i can't 😩

Blue: Ikr 😔

Yacht: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJo1Ubpo/

Yacht: Oh to be in a relationship 😌

Kiyoko forced herself into the chat 

Kiyoko: That'll be happening soon correct author chan?

Author chan: Yes yes ofc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I'm still mad i only had two lines for sky but i'm planning to make angst maybe 😩😋


End file.
